Steal This Election

Reporting From Glendale, California.

I should not read Rolling Stone magazine before I go to bed——particularly articles with titles like "Was the 2004 Election Stolen"? This expose lays bare all the atrocities committed during that election, the most disturbing allegations involving the silencing of African-American voters. Republicans will no doubt accuse the article of being filled with faulty and fabricated evidence cooked up by wacko Democrats. But, really, we all know how inept the Democratic party can be. Something like this is beyond the scope of their conspiratorial powers.

Anyway, when I read stuff like this at nighttime, it raises my blood pressure and I have horrible dreams about going to See's Candies and craving their delicious chocolates but being denied them because I only have a dollar in my Paul Frank wallet. Damn Republicans. Give me some chocolate, election riggers!

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I really dislike getting my day off to a sour start. So: Pork Chop!



And once again, all is well in the world. Who needs chocolates?